I remember how I used to follow matching and aligned tiles, as if it leads somewhere pretty.
Like wonderland, or Oz, probably.
I cross the street trying to go behind my father a little, pretending I was in Abbey Road for an album cover, only that I was holding my father’s hand- John and Julian Lennon; a tribute for father-and-son/daughter album.
I like to think I’m always headed somewhere amazing. How the lines I follow leads to where I really should be.
They were made for me. The only person who could see that they were signs.
Then I found out about zig-zag’s and loops. They scared me.
I avoided them, thinking of it as traps and nothing but trouble.
They were all curvy and in a way they look nice and smooth, but I may be just deceived by my ignorance.
But they kept me curious. And it lingered until I finally had the courage to dive in on one.
They were a lot like slides on parks painted with colors that draws your attention fully into them.
The ride was both scary and fun, until I fell out of it without caution.
Then I hit back to reality and all I can think of is how much it had caused me hurt.
But somehow I found myself going back, for that temporary fun before the end of falling down.
Again. And again.
I tried to hold on in the middle of the ride, as if staying in that moment and not hurting myself is possible.
Clinging on to it long enough, I knew I had to let go. I had to face the fallout.
Then it came to me, that maybe, just maybe, if I ready myself and straighten up my legs, it may not be as bad as the first falls. Maybe if I stood up along with the force of the fall, I wouldn’t stumble.
And so I did.
Much to my surprise, I landed just fine.
I didn’t fall, but landed. ‘landed’ was the right term.
I never thought these lines could be so relevant in life.
Every imagination or belief I had before as a child can still be significant in so many ways.
Every childhood experience and breakthroughs, as applicable as any other advice the elders give.
That every single little thing matters, we just have to look into them deeper.
.. that, or I’m just a big ball of randomness.
That is all.
(August 22, 2013)