New shoes

(May 11, 2011)

There are times where we rant about our life too much, thinking we have the worst or that no one or nothing could ever top how bad our lives are. We often worry about the wrong things or worry too much about the littlest things that doesn’t even need to be thought of any further. We often act like the world’s gonna end already because of just one situation we are in, where in fact, we are in those situations because of our own fault.

I guess everyone has got to have their times wherein they felt that way, or had been too depressed about their life, especially when they are given situations wherein they’d have to sacrifice for someone or something. Other times thought, as I’ve said, people get to choose the wrong things, which makes it a bit harder. But I’ve always believed that we are given situations and things that we can definitely go through. It will not be given to us unless He knows we can make it, or that He knows we can face it. We will all eventually have to face greater challenges as we go on with our lives, and the first thing that we need to do is have the will to pass through them.

Sometimes, we may want to try and look at other people’s lives before we rant or count all the bad things that had happen to us. If we look a little deeper into things, we’ll probably realize that there’s really nothing to rant about, or that there’s not even a big deal about the things we’re worried of. Of course this is not to compare our lives with others and act like you’re concerned with them when you know to yourself that you’re not (There’s no one to fool but yourself anyway), this is to make ourselves see and appreciate the blessings we have in life. To thank about not having something more difficult than the things we had, to thank about having to get through them, and to thank about the challenges we have, for God knows we can make it. Every challenge is a blessing, for it makes us grow a little more each time, and it’s also another way of having us feel grateful for the life we have.


Today I found out about my friend who’s mom just died. I also found out that her dad had already passed away before her mom. To think of the first was so upsetting, to think of the second made it worse, and to think of both is just so devastating. My heart broke for her lost and I couldn’t even imagine how she’s feeling right now. If only I could come to her, I would hug her cos it’s the only thing I can do for her because I know no words can ever lift her up from what she’s feeling. I can’t even imagine going through a day without even the presence of my parents, what more a life without them?

It made me feel worthless at some point, because I couldn’t be there for her. We’re not that close, but she has been a very good friend and that’s something besides being close with others. I’ve always seen her as a happy person, and I don’t know if she’ll still be the same after what had happen and I don’t really expect her to force herself to be as happy-looking like the way she was before, but I still hope she’ll gain that happy self back.

It made me remember the times when mom had lost her loved ones especially when our tito(her brother) died, and thought about how it felt. Before I could completely thought about it, I chose not to continue cos it had already brought me to tears. I wish I had the guts to hug her that time when I saw her crying.

I have come to meet a lot of new friends who had already lost their mom, or dad and I admire them for being able to live without their parents. But it also breaks my heart for them everytime the topic of parents is brought up. It makes me want to cry everytime cos I can’t even bare the thought of it, what more with them who are already in that situation? Id rather die first than have to live without them. I don’t know, maybe because I’m someone who had always been a family person and not just cos we’re not allowed to go out often with friends, but because I just like to be at home more. Trust me, this goes for the 3 of us, I mean my brother and sister. Even when we’re invited, sometimes we just choose to stay at home, and it has always been a thing for us to choose family before anything or anyone else.

This sad news made me realize that everyday is a precious time to live it for others and love everyone in your life, especially your family. No one can ever tell when it’s all over and since it goes like that, we might as well live it right and love everyone. I bet there’s nothing to lose anyway? :)


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